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Life one of the most confusing things ever! - Keeper of the Cages
jazzbandmusic
jazzbandmusic
Life one of the most confusing things ever!
Life can just be one big continual pile of shite! God the only thing that would make it even more perfect would be if I actually caved in and went to talk to the doctor. But in that instance I think I might be being a hypercondriac and all such symptoms are in my head. I just don't want to to find out is the real truth. I don't want to have to tell my family that they've got another person to worry about. Also it might have a little to do with my "fear non-fear" of doctors and what not.

I mean does one go and see one's own doctor who is the family doctor and is male or does one go see another doctor who is female. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say and I think I'm just a huge scardy cat!

I guess explaining after all that cryptic rambling would be a good thing.

My Great Aunt, who is only just in her 60s, has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. She's not been feeling too hot for the past couple of weeks and then they local NHS sent around these leaflets to all people of a certain age about testing for such things. Anyway she had the test done and they're sending her to Halton hospital ASAP to have things looked at and sorted.

What else could go wrong with my family?! I mean last year there were 3 deaths of very close relatives and several others. This year there's been 1 close relative death and several others. I nearly lost my brother when he decided to faint in the bathroom and bash his neck on the side of the toilet. Our next door neighbour died suddenly a week ago from an aneurism.

I really don't know what else could go wrong, but the thing is I'm not so hot and I've put it off and put it off and put it off to the point that I'm too scared to say anything and when I had the perfect opportunity a couple of weeks ago I didn't take it. One can read about symptoms on the internet, but the thing is they could mean several different diagnoses and in the end I'm not a doctor and could be worrying for something that is nothing.

Who does one talk to with out talking to someone really? Oh yeah that's right LJ! *snickers!* Here is the perfect place as people don't really read it and if people do they don't know me so yeah.

I'll just keep things to myself until such time as I find the strength to deal with them! I just find it hard to talk about personal body things and I'm the shyest person so what can one do? Grow a back bone I think!

Right I'm off to go educate myself in the ways of management and auditing and law.

Always S xxx

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Current Location: My bed
Current Mood: worried worried

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