?

Log in

entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Radom things that I thought funny! - Keeper of the Cages
jazzbandmusic
jazzbandmusic
Radom things that I thought funny!
Ok I got sent this in a forward and I thought it was funny! so there you go!

"Axis of Evil

by John Cleese


Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Counties Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

- John Cleese"


Oh yeah I stole this from teigra_kefira who stole in from, well I have no idea who, but its good all the same! Thanks :D! Yeah so first grade is like first year juniors (year 3! to you new fangled school people!) isn't it?!

"A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders... "6" year-olds, because the last one is classic!


Better to be safe than...............................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the .........................................bug is close.
It's always darkest before.........................Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of.............termites.
You can lead a horse to water but.............how?
Don't bite the hand that............................looks dirty.
No news is..............................................impossible.
A miss is as good as a.............................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new................math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll................stink in the morning.
Love all, trust..........................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.....................pigs.
An idle mind is........................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's...................pollution.
Happy the bride who...............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is....................................not much.
Two's company, three's...........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what..................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as......................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not..............spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed.....................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you...see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind..............get out of the way.

And the favorite:
Better late than.......................................pregnant."



"Emodes Original Ink Blot test


Sara, your unconscious mind is driven most by Peace

You are driven by a higher purpose than most people. You have a deeply-rooted desire to facilitate peacefulness in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with love ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to influence the world.

You are driven by a desire to encourage others to think about the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. The reason your unconscious is consumed by this might stem from an innate fear of war and turmoil. Thus, to avoid that uncomfortable place for you, your unconscious seeks out the peace in your environment.

Usually, the thing that underlies this unconscious drive is a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it. As a result, your personal integrity acts as a surrogate for your deeper drive toward peace and guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Peace, there is much more to who you are at your core."

Ooh! But that really doesn't explain me that much really...or does it?!

Current Mood: Dozing
Current Music: DareDevil - from the ST!

Leave a comment