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Windchimes - Keeper of the Cages
Someone's got them in their back garden and as I've got my window open and it's late and there's a bit of a wind going they keep tinkling. It's rather soothing. Sort of distant and leading you to sleep you know.

I'm getting a bit worried about this blood test thing. What if they do find something that I was ignorant of and am quite happy to be ignorant of? I'm going to ask if they can do the other tests they normally do on me when I cave and go see the doctor about my hands and what not. I think I should get it checked for iron and possibly diabetis. I don't know its just that for a while now I've been feeling rather bad and rundown all the time no matter what I do. I know I've felt like this before and I know for definate I felt like this while I worked at DeWitts and I quit that job to get away from it. I don't want to do that with this job. I love my job. I love where I am and I love what I do. I think it's the studying though. I'm tired of it already and if there was an easy shortcut I would take it.

Another worrying thought. What if I have one of my random meltdowns whilst in Barcelona? I mean not the best place to have one now is it? With all the girls from work and girls that used to work there. What am I going to do? Inducing one would be the way to go, but the question of where and when evades me. I mean I don't have the opportunity to have a meltdown with out parents hearing about it. I really must be messed up in the head to be thinking about meltdowns. It's my weird way of coping with things I suppose. I go for so long and then smash one spectacular meltdown then all is well with the world afterwards. Maybe I should consider talking to someone, but then it's like well why should I? There are people who need help more than me and why would someone want to listen to me whine and what would I talk about anyway? I've so far had a rather good life minor mishaps along the way, but still very happy life filled with denial and living in my own little world which I vacate on occassion to visit the real world! I guess LJ is the cheapest form of therapy. I get to write whatever whenever and no one can stop me. I mean people can either read it or just ignore it. Comment or don't. Then again seeing as a lot of people have vacated LJ for IJ and GJ due to artistic differences with management there aren't all that many people who'd read it anyway.

Facebook seems to be the place where everyone goes. I have facebook but I just don't want to go on there all the time. It annoys me as it takes forever to do stuff, especially on a laptop. I like my LJ 'cos I can just write rubbish for hours. Facebook you're supposed to do stuff with it and I don't get how half the time and I just keep adding applications every few months when I cave in and go look at it.

I'm going to sleep now before I keep going or delete most of it.

Have a good sleep.


S xxx

Current Location: My Bed
Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

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